I heard the analogy once from someone much older and wiser than myself, “Life is like a bunch of soap bubbles.” I never forgot that illustration of the brevity of life. It’s somewhat like dandelions in the summer time- when a breeze comes along and strips them of their seeds and they are taken in the wind. One moment it was a beautiful, full white head of seeds- now gone in the wind. Just like soap bubbles.
I’ve been thinking a lot this week about the brokenness of life. And particularly how God doesn’t always fix all of that the way we want Him to, or in the timing we think He should. I see a lot of brokenness around me on a daily basis- whether its people I meet and interact with, lost dreams, changed plans, strained relationships, lost friendships, people walking away- it can take on a lot of different forms. But of all these different situations I find myself faced with- they are nothing compared to the brokenness and depravity that I see when I look into a mirror at my own heart. That haunting picture suddenly makes some other things seem a little bit more “put together” when you compare it with the condition of my brokenness. I’ve been praying a lot the past few months for the Lord to put a lot of things “back together” and making them complete and whole. A lot of prayers I’m still waiting to get answered for a lot of people I love, for things I long to see happen in my own life. And if I had to be honest I’d say He’s not quite working in the time I thought would be best and wanted Him to.
I’ve been haunted this past week with Colossians 1 and its application to my own life.
15He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. 16For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him. 17And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. 18And he is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent. 19For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, 20and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross.
See, I’ve been staring at a floor of broken pieces for a long time. Cycles of sin, losing things I thought I was entitled to, releasing plans and agendas and dreams and people. And for a long, long time I’ve been like a little child who made a mess of paints and is trying to clean it up all by myself- and the harder I try to fix it, it just makes a bigger and bigger mess. I’ve tried every “solution” and “cleaner” I can find- but like a little 4 year old, I’ve just left some bigger, messier stains. I need someone a lot wiser than me to fix this mess.
I need a Master Designer who knows how to do some interior decorating for a trash heap of a heart.
I need Someone- Someone so big that everything was created by Him and FOR Him. Who was the beginning and end and sees all things and never gets caught by surprise over the day’s events. Who isn’t stressing out about the next 5 years of the next 2 days or how in the world everything is going to work out. I need someone who in the palm of His hand can hold ALL THINGS together. Who takes all the broken pieces and dislocated joints and puts them together properly and in working order. I need someone who understands the struggle and temptations with sin and flesh- and who could stand in victory over it all. I need someone who could take my big mess- (not me, a little child with NO HOPE of ever being good enough to fix it) - someone who could “clean it up” and reconcile me to Himself.
I need a Savior.
The thing I so often forget- is that all of this brokenness- all of these pieces- have already been put back together when Christ took our sins on the cross and reconciled all things to Himself! He’s already made it whole and complete and perfect! It doesn’t get any better or more put together than that picture!
Does that mean I quit struggling and the brokenness suddenly all got fixed? No, I don’t really know what it means. Maybe just come more to the place of being able to say:
“It’s ok that you don't come in the way I want you to. It's ok that you don't put things together in the time frame I give you. It's ok that you take my dreams and plans and say "no, not this way." It's ok when you take people, and things fall apart and I'm standing here disappointed with all of the pieces shattered on the ground. It's ok when people walk away. You understand. You get broken dreams. You get people leaving. You get it hurting so bad it rips your heart out. You understand a broken world and broken people. You understand what it’s like to look at something and only see a million shattered pieces on the ground. You understand the struggle and the fight. it’s ok. You came to reconcile. To put back together all of these broken pieces. You came to make things new and whole and complete. I can't do it. I can't love hard enough, I can't give enough, I can't fight hard enough, I can't do enough. That’s the whole point. I COULDN'T DO IT! I can't put things together. I can't make my dreams work without you. I can't make people stay. I can't make myself happy with things. It doesn't work that way.
YOU TAKE WHAT IS WRONG AND MAKE IT RIGHT.
YOUR CROSS, YOUR BLOOD- makes me right before the Father
YOU have made things complete, you are putting things together, You are doing the saving! You make me content and help me understand that YOU are enough.
You don’t owe me explanations. I’m not entitled to anything. I just get to raise my hands and worship and praise you for being the God who puts all things together and makes them whole in YOUR perfect plan! “
See, the thing is- if life is like a bunch of soap bubbles- here today and almost gone. If life is really that short and brief and eternity is without end...than really in light of it all, is it too much for Him to ask for me to praise Him here and now and through all to this? In light of Him fixing me? In light of Him reconciling me to Himself? When He sees how close we are to the next world, it's like I hear Him say "You're just 10 minutes away from eternity! It's so close! Child, I know it hurts, but perfect wholeness and freedom from sin is SO CLOSE! Keep fighting! One more day...one more hour...5 more minutes. I'm coming soon!"
It's not until I step back from the microscope and take a look at the big picture- that praising Him in it all makes sense.
12What shall I render to the LORD
for all his benefits to me?
13I will lift up the cup of salvation
and call on the name of the LORD,
14I will pay my vows to the LORD
in the presence of all his people!
(Psalm 116)
