“Emily, how can God be with all the people that love Him all at the same time?”
“If God loves us, why does he let hard things happen to us?”
“Is God ever going to bring my daddy home?”
“When you get done in Chicago, are you going to come back some day and stay with us forever?”
I hope children never cease to amaze me by their honesty and openness about the questions of life that the rest of us adults are often too scared and proud to ask. I hope they never quit haunting me, I hope I never stop learning from them. I hope I never outgrow taking the time to listen to a child’s theology.
Last night- was the usual Wednesday night routine. I once again had the privilege of hanging out with some of my favorite kids in the whole, wide world. J And as normal, we have our “bedtime routine” (which usually consists of me somehow winding up on the floor with three kids on top tickling me and they think it’s this game that should never stop. ) Eventually when the situation is back under my control, the girls crawl into bed and we get all settled…though not for too long…as at least one of them will jump up because we “forgot” something and come running back into the room with a Bible and thus our nightly routine has begun. Some nights we just read, other nights we talk theology, and then we always pray for a lot of people we love a lot and thank Him for what He is doing.
Last night, the girls wanted to talk theology.
“Emily, how can God loving us and His discipline to us be the same thing? Will he let hard things happen to us?”
“Does your friend ___ love God yet? We’ve been praying for him a long time!”
“What if God makes a mistake? What if he messes up on something? Then what happens to all of us? Will He still be God?”
Sometimes, like last night, I look into the eyes of two beautiful girls I am longing for Jesus to claim- and am haunted because their questions so closely resemble those in my own heart.
“What if God messes up? Then what happens to all of us?” “What if this person I love a lot never comes to know Jesus?”
I drove home last night, thinking about the depth behind their questions and the utter importance that we get the right answer. And I laid in bed and kept thinking about it. And I woke up this morning with it still on my heart.
It resonates with the deepest fears in each of us… the “what if” questions of life. The darkest places of my heart- which seem to sense the storm clouds gathering in the distance and can smell rain in the air and something inside whispers, “Do you trust Him?”
Do you trust Him to be God?
Do you trust Him with your questions?
Do you trust Him when He answers differently than you begged and pleaded and longed for?
I looked into the eyes of a child and even in my own unbelief was reminded of the verse from Isaiah which states “My counsel shall stand and I will accomplish ALL my purposes.”
for I am God, and there is no other;
I am God, and there is none like me,
10 declaring the end from the beginning
and from ancient times things not yet done,
saying, 'My counsel shall stand,
and I will accomplish all my purpose,'
11 calling a bird of prey from the east,
the man of my counsel from a far country.
I have spoken, and I will bring it to pass;
I have purposed, and I will do it. 12"Listen to me, you stubborn of heart,
you who are far from righteousness:
13 I bring near my righteousness; it is not far off,
and my salvation will not delay;
I will put salvation in Zion,
for Israel my glory."
Every. Single. promise. Not one of them will fail. Ever.
No-Jesus does not make mistakes. No- He cannot mess up. Ever. Jesus wins. All the time. Always. It’s forever victory with Jesus.
And I don’t have to understand why God does certain things-He is still God. My unbelief, my doubts, my questions- will never change the fact that God is still God. And He does whatever He pleases. Whatever will bring Him the most glory. And at the end of the day, regardless of what my emotions scream, I must surrender to truth. And it is a JOY to be able to look at two girls and even in the pain say “Very soon I am going to leave you. And I don’t know if God will ever bring me back. And I don’t know if He will ever bring your daddy back either. But He is GOOD. And He will ALWAYS be enough for you. And his ways are better than anything else we could even imagine!”
“Girls- if you love Jesus and give your lives to Him- is He ever going to leave you or forget you or walk out on you?”
And the faith of a child.
“No Emily. Of course not. God won’t ever do that.”
My friends- do we trust God to be God? At the end of the day, even with questions unanswered, will we submit to His ways as ALWAYS the best ways? Will we believe even as children believe?
Psalm 65-66
