I think I have heard the word “last” more times in this past month than I can ever remember. That or I am just growing keenly aware of the deeper meaning behind the word. This phrase has grown all too common lately, “Hey Emily, would you like to _____ since it will be your last_____?”

Last Kids Club month.

Last time I get to sit doing a Bible study in the ISU atrium across from two girls I have had the privilege of doing life with since we met last summer in Mexico.

Last times of sitting in room 421 A with my accountability partner hashing out our junk and talking about the gospel.

Last night of Biblical counseling classes.

Last times I get to clean for my “adopted grandma” Ruth and hear her whistle hymns and see her Bible open on the table.

Last few times of sitting around a table with a leadership team I’ve done so much life with the past 3.5 years.

Last times of kneeling beside a bed with some beautiful kids talking theology and praying for people we love.

My “lasts” could go on quite a while as this chapter that has been open for so long now comes to a closing…and a new one begins.

Last, according to the dictionary:

Final. Ultimate or conclusive. Definite.

As I was overwhelmed with thinking about all of these “lasts”, the Lord gave me this picture that brought me to my knees as I was struck with one “last” that is coming.

In Revelation 21 John writes these words of Christ, the One seated on the throne- the beginning and the end:

“It is done.”

The final “last” has come.

He will look at me and say “It is done.”

The last lie will be stripped from me. In its place a foundation of truth never to be destroyed again.

The last fear will be ripped away as my eyes behold my God. Only faith remains.

The last time of demanding “my way.” Now I am brought into perfect submission of His way.

The last drop of pride will fall. Humility and surrender cover me like a cloak.

The last part of me that screams unbelief is silenced forever. Instead I am bound into beautiful belief that will never again deny, never again doubt, never again stumble or desire sinfully.

The last selfish motive will crumble. Everything I have will be laid at His feet.

The last act of injustice will be stopped. Perfect justice will reign forever.

The last devastating cycle of addiction will be no more. Incomprehensible freedom will touch us.

The last act of self righteousness will be devastated. The blood of Jesus has forever been enough.

I can’t stop thinking of that moment when all of this will fall away- all my diseased heart, selfish ambitions, devastating pride, fears, unbelief, stubbornness, lies.

Done. It’s final. It’s ultimate and conclusive. Definite. No more. The final last has come.

As I shared parts of this with my accountability partner today I asked myself the questions, “So how does all of this change the way I live TODAY. If all of these “lasts” are still coming and are not here yet, where does that leave me today?”

And surprise (or not) it brought me back to the only place it should.

The gospel.

All of the lasts I stated previously were met out on the Cross. All of my lies. My fears, my demands, my pride, unbelief/fear/doubt, selfish motives, self righteousness. When Christ looked at me He saw all of that (past, present, future sin), and as He met out the punishment that should have been mine, he uttered these last words, “It is finished.”

The last has come.

The curtain has been torn.

I now have access to a beautiful God who looks at me- and doesn’t see me, broken and depraved as I am, but instead sees Jesus Christ and His blood poured over my life.

“Justified. Made new. Redeemed.”

The Cross- a beautiful illustration of “last.” Done. Final. Ultimate and conclusive. Definitive. No more.

Christ has won.

So today I get to worship under the shadow of a bloody cross that screams of how much my sin costs and of how great a God I have that He would pay that for me.

I will wait for my God here, clinging tightly to the work He has done that we might be free. May my hands be bloody because I have refused to let go of the cross and all of its sanctifying power in my life. May my feet be weary and achy because I have fought so hard to bring others to the cross with me. May my hands be exhausted as I have served my King until my last breath. May my voice be hoarse from the constant praises and prayers that have gone out. May my eyes now be blind to the lusts and desires of the world, and opened only to the Light of Life.

And as the final last has come, when the curtain falls and the main character (Jesus Christ) walks onto the stage- I will get to see the completed, beautiful story of a God who has reconciled all things to Himself.

And may the first words coming from our lips in that moment be:

“WORTHY IS THE LAMB WHO WAS SLAIN, TO RECEIVE POWER AND WEALTH AND WISDOM AND MIGHT AND HONOR AND GLORY AND BLESSING!”