Hearing His Name

My first graders have been little scoundrels the past month or so. They’ve successfully managed to get written up by the art, music, and Chinese teachers; they’ve lost recess at least three times because they can’t stand in a line without talking, and the principal herself has reprimanded them on several occasions for their behavior. They’ve taken home red faces instead of green, notes about behavior problems instead of compliments, and have lost privileges of even the most envied “treats” my mentor teacher hands out for students who are listening.

I can’t tell you how hard it is to get 27 kids to walk in a line, very quietly, up a set of stairs.

But I love my kids.

And I know, even on our bad days together, my kids love me.

I made a surprise visit to my students after one of my ISU classes let out and came just in time to pick them up from library. “MISS EMILY!!!!!!!” 27 little children began screeching and attacking me with hugs.

“You’re late!!!!!” one little boy scolded me.

“Miss Emily where were you today????”

“Miss Emily, you weren’t here to pour our cereal out for us at breakfast. So we plugged the drain!” (My all-time favorite line)

One of my hardest little boys (who I hadn’t seen in almost a week) came running and threw his arms around me. “Miss Emily, I missed you!!!!”

On my last teaching observation from my ISU professor, she commented, “I noticed all the kids call you Miss Emily. I love that. I wish everyone did that.”

I love that my kids know my name. It’s so much of my identity and who I am. And interestingly enough, it was REALLY important to my kids that I knew every single one of their names. The first few weeks I was always forgetting and getting names mixed up, and on the day when I finally got them right, I was met with huge smiles and “Finalmente Miss Emily! ¡Tú sabes mi nombre!”

As important as it was to my little scoundrels that I know their names, it’s always going to be equally important to me that every student knows my name.

John 10:14

“I am the good shepherd, I know my own and my own know me, just as the Father knows me and I know the Father, and I lay down my life for the sheep.” – Jesus

Here in John 10, Jesus paints for us a picture of a deep, deep, deep relationship. As intimately and deeply as the relationship between the Son and the Father, so Jesus says is His relationship with us. With open hands, He offers us the most satisfying opportunity for freedom that could ever exist. Just sit in that for awhile.

But this offer came with a price. The wolves threatening to attack the sheep had to be defeated- forever. John 10 is this beautiful story of a Shepherd seeing wolves coming at his flock of sheep. Given the choice, He doesn’t leave them to be slaughtered, but rather fights the wolves, draws them away from the flock, saves the sheep- and in doing so lays down His very life.

 But the story doesn’t end with a dead shepherd. Given the power to defeat even death and hell, this Great Shepherd rose to life as a sign of triumphant victory.

As I have been reading this chapter, I have been meditating a lot on John 10:14 and 10:16.

“And I have other sheep that are not of this fold. I must bring them also, and they will listen to my voice. So there will be one flock, one shepherd.”

“Jesus didn’t come into the world for a few Jewish disciples in Palestine. He has other sheep not of this fold…He has sheep in Antioch and Athens, Mexico City, London, Chicago. Beijing and Calcutta and Tehran and Moscow….”- Piper

I believe that in John 10 Jesus shows us that dying to self is such a beautiful thing. In doing so, you get invited into a deeper, more satisfying relationship than the world has ever known. You get to know Jesus in a way so few people are experiencing. And through that relationship, we get to see others being added to the flock of the Great Shepherd from all over the world.

And when I understand glimpses of the depth of the relationship Jesus wants to have with me, my heart response should be a longing and desire that others experience that as well.

We should hear Him calling our name all the time. We should feel Him pursuing our hearts, beating them with love, chastening them, drawing them to Himself. All the time.

And when I feel the great gap and distance between what I know I should be experiencing and what I actually feel, I am reminded of James 4:

“Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts…Humble yourselves before the Lord.”

Maybe it’s time that some of us have a funeral….to ourselves and our flesh. Maybe it’s time a few of us take a journey to the foot of the cross and stay there awhile and remember. Maybe it’s time we wash ourselves in the water of the Word, and humble our hearts in prayer. Maybe it’s time we finally have some conversations with people who have been heavy on our hearts.

I began my blog this week with stories about my students and the importance of knowing their names, and them knowing mine. It’s the same picture with Jesus- we need to take some time to reflect on where our relationship with Him is really at.

Are we hearing Him call our names?

And equally as important, are we calling on His?

May we throw all we have into knowing the fullness of Jesus Christ. And when it costs us everything, which it will, may we celebrate the depth and freedom and life that dying to self brings about. For the praise of HIS glorious name!

“I want the presence of God Himself, or I don't want anything at all to do with religion... I want all that God has or I don't want any.”
― A.W. Tozer