My
first graders have been little scoundrels the past month or so. They’ve
successfully managed to get written up by the art, music, and Chinese teachers;
they’ve lost recess at least three times because they can’t stand in a line
without talking, and the principal herself has reprimanded them on several occasions
for their behavior. They’ve taken home red faces instead of green, notes about
behavior problems instead of compliments, and have lost privileges of even the most
envied “treats” my mentor teacher hands out for students who are listening.
I can’t
tell you how hard it is to get 27 kids to walk in a line, very quietly, up a
set of stairs.
But I
love my kids.
And I
know, even on our bad days together, my kids love me.
I
made a surprise visit to my students after one of my ISU classes let out and
came just in time to pick them up from library. “MISS EMILY!!!!!!!” 27 little
children began screeching and attacking me with hugs.
“You’re
late!!!!!” one little boy scolded me.
“Miss
Emily where were you today????”
“Miss
Emily, you weren’t here to pour our cereal out for us at breakfast. So we
plugged the drain!” (My all-time favorite line)
One
of my hardest little boys (who I hadn’t seen in almost a week) came running and
threw his arms around me. “Miss Emily, I missed you!!!!”
On my
last teaching observation from my ISU professor, she commented, “I noticed all
the kids call you Miss Emily. I love that. I wish everyone did that.”
I
love that my kids know my name. It’s so much of my identity and who I am. And interestingly
enough, it was REALLY important to my kids that I knew every single one of
their names. The first few weeks I was always forgetting and getting names
mixed up, and on the day when I finally got them right, I was met with huge
smiles and “Finalmente Miss Emily! ¡Tú sabes mi nombre!”
As
important as it was to my little scoundrels that I know their names, it’s
always going to be equally important to me that every student knows my name.
John
10:14
“I am
the good shepherd, I know
my own and my own know me,
just as the Father knows me and I know the Father, and I lay down my life for
the sheep.” –
Jesus
Here in John 10, Jesus paints for us a
picture of a deep, deep, deep relationship. As intimately and deeply as the
relationship between the Son and the Father, so Jesus says is His relationship
with us. With open hands, He
offers us the most satisfying opportunity for freedom that could ever exist. Just sit in that for awhile.
But
this offer came with a price. The wolves threatening to attack the sheep had to
be defeated- forever. John 10 is this beautiful story of a Shepherd seeing
wolves coming at his flock of sheep. Given the choice, He doesn’t leave them to
be slaughtered, but rather fights the wolves, draws them away from the flock,
saves the sheep- and in doing so lays down His very life.
But the story doesn’t end with a dead shepherd.
Given the power to defeat even death and hell, this Great Shepherd
rose to life as a sign of triumphant victory.
As I have
been reading this chapter, I have been meditating a lot on John
10:14 and 10:16.
“And I have other sheep that are not of this
fold. I must bring them also, and they will listen to my voice. So there will
be one flock, one shepherd.”
“Jesus didn’t come into the world for a few Jewish disciples in Palestine. He has other sheep not of this fold…He has sheep in Antioch and Athens, Mexico City, London, Chicago. Beijing and Calcutta and Tehran and Moscow….”- Piper
I
believe that in John 10 Jesus shows us that dying to self is such a beautiful
thing. In doing so, you get invited into a deeper, more satisfying
relationship than the world has ever known. You get to know Jesus in a way so few
people are experiencing. And through that relationship, we get to see others
being added to the flock of the Great Shepherd from all over the world.
And when
I understand glimpses of the depth of the relationship Jesus wants to have with
me, my heart response should be a longing and desire that others experience
that as well.
We
should hear Him calling our name all the time. We should feel Him pursuing our
hearts, beating them with love, chastening them, drawing them to Himself. All
the time.
And
when I feel the great gap and distance between what I know I should be
experiencing and what I actually feel, I am reminded of James 4:
“Draw
near to God, and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and
purify your hearts…Humble yourselves before the Lord.”
Maybe
it’s time that some of us have a funeral….to ourselves and our flesh. Maybe it’s
time a few of us take a journey to the foot of the cross and stay there awhile
and remember. Maybe it’s time we wash ourselves in the water of the Word, and
humble our hearts in prayer. Maybe it’s time we finally have some conversations
with people who have been heavy on our hearts.
I
began my blog this week with stories about my students and the importance of knowing
their names, and them knowing mine. It’s the same picture with Jesus- we need
to take some time to reflect on where our relationship with Him is really at.
Are
we hearing Him call our names?
And
equally as important, are we calling on His?
May we throw all we have into knowing the fullness of Jesus Christ. And when it costs us everything, which it will, may we celebrate the depth and freedom and life that dying to self brings about. For the praise of HIS glorious name!
― A.W. Tozer
